Why do people feel it necessary to wander around spitting all the time?? I have never seen it to the point that it is these days. Many years ago, in most cities it was against the law to spit on the sidewalk. Maybe it should be again!! It's disgusting. Really. It is disgusting to see some guy, for no apparent reason, just spitting on the sidewalk. I don't wanna walk through that spit (See how I did that there?). I don't want it on my shoe - even though it's on the bottom! My wife and I like to have a nice house. The LAST damn thing I want is to track that into my house.
Now if you're out in a field somewhere, like doing farm-type work, and you gotta big ol' chew of Redman in your cheek, that's one thing. I used to chew. I enjoyed chewing when the National Guard Artillery unit I was in was out in the field for 12 days. When we win the lottery and buy a horse farm in Florida, I will probably chew out in the pasture in the eastern 40. But I ain't gonna be doing it around the yard of the house. And don't EVEN talk about spitting in a cup. That's just as disgusting as standing outside Walgreens spitting on the sidewalk. Besides, my wife would hurt me.
I will say one of the most illustrative instances of poetic justice was a guy I saw get what he had coming to him. He knew that everyone in the office hated that he had his dip in his mouth all the time, so, of course, he always had a dip. He would carry both a styrofoam coffee cup for drinking and a styrofoam coffee cup for spitting. (You can see this coming!) In a moment of it's-all-about-me storytelling, he picks up the coffee and spits, and picks up the spit cup and drinks! It was FABULOUS! Not only did he go running out of the room to who-knows-where, but we didn't see him again for quite a while. I suppose he was too embarrassed to come back. I loved it. But...... I digress!
It especially bugs me when the guy(s) spitting have no reason to be spitting. Now don't get me wrong -- if you've got a Big Mac sesame seed from the bun stuck between a molar and a bicuspid, I get that. But it don't take very much. A little *pthew* and it's a goner. I'm talking about guys in khakis, a Polo shirt, and penny loafers standing at the grill in the backyard spitting like some guy who lost a bet and had to lick a dog's butt. They have neither seeds nor a wad of Levi Garrett in that mouth. I mean, seriously, if your own saliva tastes that bad, go brush your damn teeth for the love of Pete! You want your "other half" to enjoy that taste, why shouldn't you??
I love baseball. I especially love Braves baseball. I can watch 162 games each year (if they're playing worth a crap). But I have to say, I don't get them either. Alex Gonzales drinks 3 cups of water in the dugout before stepping into the batter's box. Then stands there and spits 13 times between each pitch. Really?? Was there something in that cup in the dugout that tasted that bad? It's no wonder they have to rehydrate so much, they spit every ounce of fluid onto the grass -- and in the baseline. Ever notice the dirt on a uniform after a guy slides into the base? Ever see a really dark spot of mud in the middle of that dirt on his uniform? Spit. Poetic justice.
You don't really see football players spitting that much. Maybe they've figured out that whole "If I spit there, I'm gonna have to roll around in it." They might spit a lot, but we just don't see it.
Now don't get me wrong. I'm not some kind of pansey or holier-than-thou. I just think it's ridiculous and disgusting to have to watch people walk around spewing saliva. I can only wonder how long it will be before it's OK to walk around allowing us to enjoy other bodily functions. Lord, please don't let that become couth until after I've shuffled off this mortal coil.
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