...About Grammar

When I was a child, my first 4 years in school were at St. Clements Catholic School. It was a small parish-run school. First through eighth grades were in one building - two classes per room. My first grade teacher was a nun named Sister Johanna. Sister Johanna was old, short, wrinkled, and VERY old-fashioned. I suppose she was the "Parochial School nun" from Central Casting for many movies. The single largest thing I remember about that time was that she taught us cursive writing and how to talk. Now that wasn't a class, it was Sister Johanna. I remember asking if I could throw a piece of paper away. I wasn't allowed, because I didn't call the receptacle by the correct name - at least as far as Sister Johanna was concerned. "May I throw this paper in the garbage can?" Wrong.  "May I throw this paper in the trash can?"  Wrong. I ended up keeping it since I did not call it a "Waste paper basket." Whatever!!  I am scarred for life because of Sister Johanna. But in spite of having to keep waste paper in my desk and ruler marks on the back of the hands, I am grateful to Sister Johanna for the beginnings of knowing good grammar. She, along with my parents, taught us to speak with good grammar.

But... I digress!

I get so aggravated when I see (or hear) bad grammar being used. Through colloquial living, I have a propensity for saying things like, "I ain't going over there with y'all" and "He ain't gotta clue about driving safe."  Oooh, Sister Johanna would smack me on the hand! But when it's appropriate to speak correctly, fortunately, I am trained. And when I say "trained," that's the truth. Though it's not that hard, it takes training.

There, their, and they're drive me crazy. I know this is a spelling issue, but it is all part of the same problem. It makes me cringe when I see people write, "It was there own fault."  I'm sure you could make someone react like a dog hearing a high-pitched whistle by having them read "They're own their own over there."  Huh? 
Their, they're, there was a Victoria's Secret commercial a year or so ago that made me want to go screaming down the street. In the middle of whatever it is going on in those commercials, big letters flash on the screen. One screen says something like "THE ONE DAY SALE" and a second later, it actually said "THERE'S BIG SAVINGS"  Are you kidding me??!!  Read that the way it reads without the contraction... There IS Big Savings. Really??  REALLY??  Victoria's Secrets? A buncha big boobs who are a buncha big boobs!  They're's just no counting for smarts.  (Like that one?)

A few of the others that cause me a nervous twitch: "I seen him yesterday at the store;"  "They done that already;" [I hope you easily saw more than one in that example.]  Another commercial - "Be smart, eat healthy."   Ly! "Eat HealthILY!"  Man! These people!  "Buckle up - Drive Safe!"  Aaarrgh!!

Ooh, ooh... here's a killer -- "I'd rather break my leg then lose my wallet." You want to do both?? 

It's like the new, greatest reminder out there: 
"Let's eat grandpa." 
"Let's eat, grandpa." 
Punctuation saves lives.
I love that one.

Now don't get me wrong, I get the fact that if you walk around speaking the Queen's English all the time, people are going to shun you. But when it's a formal, written document - or a TV commercial -  for Heaven's sake, use correct grammar. If you have the slightest question of whether or not you know how to use correct grammar, ask someone. Actually, the easiest thing now is spell check and Google. Google! You can type "using there or their" and get the answer!  What a country!  It neither takes long to do, nor costs money. (See what I did there?)

I know this all sounds a bit hoity-toity, but with this country's decline in so many educational areas, little things like grammar and spelling should be relatively easy to get right. I think we should have stricter penalties when adults use bad grammar or spelling. "No, Mr. Smith, we won't fix your car. You didn't ask in the correct manner.  Charlie, hand me that ruler."  

Sister Johanna is spinning in her grave like a top. 

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