Like everyone in America, I am stunned by the tragedy in Newtown, CT. I have been trying to determine what I want to say, but there are no great words of wisdom. There is nothing to say that will comfort anyone. All of us feels a sense of anger; a sense of outrage; a deep sense of sadness; and a sense of confusion. We all ask, "how can such an horrific act happen?" And, of course, there is no answer.
All of the questions we ask in this terrible moment are rhetorical. "How can this happen?" "What would make someone do something so sick?" "Why would someone so gruesomely attack innocent people?" And likely the most unanswerable - "What can be done to stop this?"
We've all seen the news coverage. We've been reminded again and again about the recent mall shootings, the Colorado movie theater shootings, the shootings at places of worship, the massacre at Virginia Tech, and Columbine. And every time, we ask those same rhetorical questions. And, sadly, there truly seem to be no answers.
The first thing we hear everyone say is that we need to outlaw guns. Of course we know that is not the single answer. I know it's considered overused, but I have to say I agree: "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Would it make a difference if guns were outlawed? Probably not, if the person plotting to kill people is serious. Some here and there might be deterred, but not the true monsters. I would venture an uneducated guess that Newtown, Va Tech, Colorado, and Columbine would not have been avoided. Something as large as these examples, and many others, doesn't happen on a whim because someone happened to see a gun sitting on the table. But I am not trying to exhibit support for one group or another either. Imagine the OK Corral shootouts that might occur if everyone had guns.
I have heard opinions for quite a long time promoting that video games have desensitized people to a point of no return. There have been opinions that many of the young Soldiers currently serving our country are able to do their job so robotically because they have lost the sensitivity to death. The proponents of that argument believe the intense killing and life-like graphics in today's video games makes it less horrific to someone to take a life. I don't know. I know many guys who have played the hard-hitting video games and they show no sense of lessened remorse toward death. Maybe that is also a grasping at straws.
It certainly seems that there is little or no real ability to "read" someone as a potential killer. It would be great if there was some highly-visible sign - like maybe some bright facial rash - when a person was about to commit such an unspeakable act. But there is no sign. Think about how many times we see the news interview with the neighbor who tells that there was nothing out of the ordinary about the killer. "I've lived next door to him for 5 years. He's never been anything but a good, quiet neighbor." What are the signs? What do we look for? I wish someone could give us real, tangible signs to look for. But there seem to be none.
So what do we do? I wish I had some answer. We all wish we had some answer. For now, I suppose we can only do what everyone seems to feel at times such as these: Hug those close to you a little tighter; a little longer. Pray to God for guidance and protection. Never miss the opportunity to say "I Love You." I know I will be saying it more.
And, as horrible as this will make me sound, maybe we can hope that these terrible monsters, these cowards who attack innocent, unarmed people and then kill themselves, will cut to the chase. Before they go out and find innocent people to murder, just turn to the last page and kill themselves first.
With the grip something like this places on the heart, today I do not digress.
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Saturday, December 15, 2012
Sunday, December 9, 2012
...About My Armpits
There are people who think I have strong opinions. I do. I have always said that "opinions are like armpits -- everybody has a couple and they all stink!" Today's little sermon is FULL of my armpits. I hope you can stand it.
All my life it has been a joke with my father that "it's too bad everybody can't be like we are." That feeling, or the sense of it, was a big fodder-piece for the destruction of my relationship with the 1st former Mrs. McNeeley. All of us believe that what we feel strongly about is the way life should actually be. I mean, after all, as a matter of fact, I DO know everything! But... I digress!
Here are some of my opinions and feelings.
Cam Newton is a pretty good quarterback. He was while at Auburn, and is in the NFL. Is he the greatest? No. But he's pretty good. He makes things happen with his ability to run, pass, read defenses, etc. BUT - I absolutely despise all of the "it's all about me." He makes a good play - maybe even a great play - and it's the dance and "Superman" shirt peel and arms waving demanding applause. I get the exuberance and the adrenaline flood. Control yourself; there were 10 other people who made that possible. You can do great things, but not by yourself. What I truly enjoyed were the several weeks during which the Panthers weren't winning - badly weren't winning. I enjoyed how sad and pious and humbled and defeated he sounded during the press conferences after the games. Good enough for you. Be a gracious winner like Drew Brees or Aaron Rogers or Eli Manning or Peyton or so many others whom you, Cam, can only hope to be like one day.
I have had enough of the other countries in this world being in better shape than our own. We are putting our people out of work every day by taking our industries to other countries so the big-wigs can make more money. I get the whole profit thing. I understand the desire to cut expenses and increase the bottom line. Do you know that we import $50 billion each year from China just in computer equipment, while the largest export from the U.S. to China is $8 billion worth of... wait for it... waste paper and scrap metal. Things our workers don't make.
A man I know owns an embroidery business. He and his wife opened a small business in north Alabama. They grew their business large enough that, at one point, every flag emblem on the pocket of a TOMMY HILFIGER shirt was sewn by them! Every Polo pony on a RALPH LAUREN shirt was sewn by them! They bought over $1 million of additional high-end equipment to keep up with the customer's needs. And in a very short time, in the blink of an eye, BOTH companies yanked their business to farm out to other countries to make more money. He and his wife were devastated.
We MUST stop this from happening. We MUST return to insisting on products that read "Made in America!" My friend Jon pointed out that if we spend just $100 per month on US goods, instead of Chinese goods, we will bring BILLIONS back into our own economy each year. If we don't, we will continue to see our neighbors lose their jobs and the fat boys of the big companies grow fatter. And more importantly, other countries will begin to replace us as the greatest country in the world. NOT ACCEPTABLE.
This is also true of education for our children. We MUST make the education of our children better. We are so concerned with who might be left behind, or losing our summer vacation, or being politically correct in our schools, or making little Johnny or Susie feel good about themselves that we have lost focus on the process that educating children is the only way we will stay a leader in this ever-advancing world.
During the "Occupy" bullshit... I mean movement, I saw a picture of a guy publicly defecating on an American flag while the large crowd around him cheered. I know that it's his right as an American to do that. I also believe that, if I had been there, I would likely have exercised my right as an American to pummel the living hell out of him. 'Course my buddy Kevin would advocate that it should be my right as an American to put a .45 cal round right between his beady little eyes. I agree.
Because we tolerate this kind of disrespect for our own country, we are the laughing stock of the rest of the world. It's one thing for some less-than-stellar individuals in another country to get sand in their crack and burn our flag, but to allow it at home is unconscionable.
[This is the point where I was going to address the government issues like Healthcare, Fiscal Cliffs, and politicians, but that's going to be lengthy also, so I'll save that for the next time.]
Here is my platform for being elected: The other countries around the world hate us. Fine. Bring every one of our people home. The Germans hate us. Fine. Close our huge Ramstein Air Base and bring our people and all of that revenue the Germans love home. The Middle East countries hate us. Fine. Bring every one of our troops home. When you finish destroying your country and yourselves, we will come in and plant our flag and rename it "America Annex 32."
Next, take all of our Soldiers and put them shoulder to shoulder around the outline of the United States. NO ONE gets in. You want into America? Apply. Go through the proper, legal steps and come on in. I bet our Soldiers would love to stand guard at our borders and sleep in an American bed each night.
Next, when a plane lands at an airport from out of the country, stand at the bottom of the stairs and check IDs. You ain't from here? Get back on the plane. You want to be here? Read the paragraph above.
Now before you get in a twist, I'm not against people coming to America. DO IT THE RIGHT, LEGAL WAY. That's all I'm saying.
Next, there is no more welfare. No more Government assistance. Get a job. "There ain't any"? Now there are. The people who were here illegally, who have gone home to apply for entry and citizenship, left all the jobs. You start work tomorrow picking oranges, or potatoes, or onions. We will pay you minimum wage. Problems for farmers, solved. You don't want that job? Get another one. You don't like that job? Tough. Get another one. Whatever. We ain't paying for you to sit at home and have babies and drive an Escalade anymore. Stop your whining, put on your big-boy panties and get a job, pay your bills, and pay your taxes -- LIKE I DO!
Now... go vote for me!!
Today's rant over.
.
All my life it has been a joke with my father that "it's too bad everybody can't be like we are." That feeling, or the sense of it, was a big fodder-piece for the destruction of my relationship with the 1st former Mrs. McNeeley. All of us believe that what we feel strongly about is the way life should actually be. I mean, after all, as a matter of fact, I DO know everything! But... I digress!
Here are some of my opinions and feelings.
Cam Newton is a pretty good quarterback. He was while at Auburn, and is in the NFL. Is he the greatest? No. But he's pretty good. He makes things happen with his ability to run, pass, read defenses, etc. BUT - I absolutely despise all of the "it's all about me." He makes a good play - maybe even a great play - and it's the dance and "Superman" shirt peel and arms waving demanding applause. I get the exuberance and the adrenaline flood. Control yourself; there were 10 other people who made that possible. You can do great things, but not by yourself. What I truly enjoyed were the several weeks during which the Panthers weren't winning - badly weren't winning. I enjoyed how sad and pious and humbled and defeated he sounded during the press conferences after the games. Good enough for you. Be a gracious winner like Drew Brees or Aaron Rogers or Eli Manning or Peyton or so many others whom you, Cam, can only hope to be like one day.
I have had enough of the other countries in this world being in better shape than our own. We are putting our people out of work every day by taking our industries to other countries so the big-wigs can make more money. I get the whole profit thing. I understand the desire to cut expenses and increase the bottom line. Do you know that we import $50 billion each year from China just in computer equipment, while the largest export from the U.S. to China is $8 billion worth of... wait for it... waste paper and scrap metal. Things our workers don't make.
A man I know owns an embroidery business. He and his wife opened a small business in north Alabama. They grew their business large enough that, at one point, every flag emblem on the pocket of a TOMMY HILFIGER shirt was sewn by them! Every Polo pony on a RALPH LAUREN shirt was sewn by them! They bought over $1 million of additional high-end equipment to keep up with the customer's needs. And in a very short time, in the blink of an eye, BOTH companies yanked their business to farm out to other countries to make more money. He and his wife were devastated.
We MUST stop this from happening. We MUST return to insisting on products that read "Made in America!" My friend Jon pointed out that if we spend just $100 per month on US goods, instead of Chinese goods, we will bring BILLIONS back into our own economy each year. If we don't, we will continue to see our neighbors lose their jobs and the fat boys of the big companies grow fatter. And more importantly, other countries will begin to replace us as the greatest country in the world. NOT ACCEPTABLE.
This is also true of education for our children. We MUST make the education of our children better. We are so concerned with who might be left behind, or losing our summer vacation, or being politically correct in our schools, or making little Johnny or Susie feel good about themselves that we have lost focus on the process that educating children is the only way we will stay a leader in this ever-advancing world.
During the "Occupy" bullshit... I mean movement, I saw a picture of a guy publicly defecating on an American flag while the large crowd around him cheered. I know that it's his right as an American to do that. I also believe that, if I had been there, I would likely have exercised my right as an American to pummel the living hell out of him. 'Course my buddy Kevin would advocate that it should be my right as an American to put a .45 cal round right between his beady little eyes. I agree.
Because we tolerate this kind of disrespect for our own country, we are the laughing stock of the rest of the world. It's one thing for some less-than-stellar individuals in another country to get sand in their crack and burn our flag, but to allow it at home is unconscionable.
[This is the point where I was going to address the government issues like Healthcare, Fiscal Cliffs, and politicians, but that's going to be lengthy also, so I'll save that for the next time.]
Here is my platform for being elected: The other countries around the world hate us. Fine. Bring every one of our people home. The Germans hate us. Fine. Close our huge Ramstein Air Base and bring our people and all of that revenue the Germans love home. The Middle East countries hate us. Fine. Bring every one of our troops home. When you finish destroying your country and yourselves, we will come in and plant our flag and rename it "America Annex 32."
Next, take all of our Soldiers and put them shoulder to shoulder around the outline of the United States. NO ONE gets in. You want into America? Apply. Go through the proper, legal steps and come on in. I bet our Soldiers would love to stand guard at our borders and sleep in an American bed each night.
Next, when a plane lands at an airport from out of the country, stand at the bottom of the stairs and check IDs. You ain't from here? Get back on the plane. You want to be here? Read the paragraph above.
Now before you get in a twist, I'm not against people coming to America. DO IT THE RIGHT, LEGAL WAY. That's all I'm saying.
Next, there is no more welfare. No more Government assistance. Get a job. "There ain't any"? Now there are. The people who were here illegally, who have gone home to apply for entry and citizenship, left all the jobs. You start work tomorrow picking oranges, or potatoes, or onions. We will pay you minimum wage. Problems for farmers, solved. You don't want that job? Get another one. You don't like that job? Tough. Get another one. Whatever. We ain't paying for you to sit at home and have babies and drive an Escalade anymore. Stop your whining, put on your big-boy panties and get a job, pay your bills, and pay your taxes -- LIKE I DO!
Now... go vote for me!!
Today's rant over.
.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
...About Our Society's Stupidity.
Sorry I've been away so long. I'm back now. And I've got something to say.
It has gotten to the point anymore where I wonder just how much more we, as a Society, can take. Our country is on the verge of blowing up. Not because of the current pending political elections; though that doesn't help much of anything. Not because of the wars we have been deeply lost in for the last decade-plus. Not because American Idol can't seem to keep judges anymore (like I give a damn!). But because we have gotten to the point that we will allow and accept anything. We are so damned concerned with what some poor, mealy-mouthed, cry-baby pansy is going to say, we let ourselves become foolish-looking to the rest of the world.
I have a vision; it goes like this: George and Larry (someone will get offended if I say "Achmed and Abdul") are sitting on their mats in the sand.
George: We should attack America.
Larry: Are you crazy?! That's ludicrous!
George: Why??
Larry: Because America is the land of the free and the home of the brave. They will kill us!!
George: It will never happen... they will be too concerned about hurting our feelings.
Larry: Oh. OK, let's do it.
But, I digress!
Here is an actual story from today's newspaper here in Florida:
A 43-year-old woman was arrested for throwing a cup of Coke in her husband's face. The incident occurred Oct. 13 at a Plympton Road residence. According to an Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office arrest report, the two, who have been married for 17 years, became involved in an argument. During the argument, the woman threw a cup of Coke on her husband, "causing the liquid to strike the victim in the face, neck, and chest area," the deputy wrote in the report.
It has gotten to the point anymore where I wonder just how much more we, as a Society, can take. Our country is on the verge of blowing up. Not because of the current pending political elections; though that doesn't help much of anything. Not because of the wars we have been deeply lost in for the last decade-plus. Not because American Idol can't seem to keep judges anymore (like I give a damn!). But because we have gotten to the point that we will allow and accept anything. We are so damned concerned with what some poor, mealy-mouthed, cry-baby pansy is going to say, we let ourselves become foolish-looking to the rest of the world.
I have a vision; it goes like this: George and Larry (someone will get offended if I say "Achmed and Abdul") are sitting on their mats in the sand.
George: We should attack America.
Larry: Are you crazy?! That's ludicrous!
George: Why??
Larry: Because America is the land of the free and the home of the brave. They will kill us!!
George: It will never happen... they will be too concerned about hurting our feelings.
Larry: Oh. OK, let's do it.
But, I digress!
Here is an actual story from today's newspaper here in Florida:
A 43-year-old woman was arrested for throwing a cup of Coke in her husband's face. The incident occurred Oct. 13 at a Plympton Road residence. According to an Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office arrest report, the two, who have been married for 17 years, became involved in an argument. During the argument, the woman threw a cup of Coke on her husband, "causing the liquid to strike the victim in the face, neck, and chest area," the deputy wrote in the report.
The woman was charged with
misdemeanor battery and has a Nov. 6 court date.
WHAT THE HELL???? Are you kidding me? THAT is an arrest-able offense??!! If my wife did that to me, we'd "play wrestle" and end up laughing like hyenas. Last summer she pushed me into our pool fully clothed! Obviously she should have been sentenced to the electric chair!!
Here's another I found:
A Brooklyn graffiti artist was
reportedly caught in the act last week, and a neighbor reported the tagging
incident to authorities, who then sent a warning letter to the alleged
criminal. The catch? The perp was a six-year-old girl drawing with sidewalk
chalk on her parents' stoop. If officials choose to take action, the family could
face up to a $300 fine.
Some absolute, total jackass reported that little girl! When I was a kid, lo, these MANY years ago, my mom was generally glad we didn't write on the walls and cut each others' pinkies off! I suppose sidewalk chalk was actually meant to be used in the toilet.
Yet another one:
A ten-year-old girl was arrested last month
because of what she brought for lunch. When teachers saw that the student had
brought a steak knife in her lunch (for the odious purpose of cutting her
steak), they reportedly called law enforcement officials, who arrested the
girl. Sources note that the fifth grader rode in a patrol car and was handed
weapons charges, since having knives on school property is against school
policy.
This poor 10-year old will be scarred for life. Every boy who takes her on a date to a steak restaurant will have to deal with a screaming banshee when the silverware roll is opened! I hear that screeching music from Psycho... scree*scree*scree*scree*scree*scree!
My point is this: If we, the "Silent Majority" don't retake control of this country and invite the really, really stupid people to shut up and sit down, we are going to get to the point that if you spank your child, you will be arrested, charged with assault, and likely lose your child. WAIT!!!! TOO LATE!
I am sick to damn death of having the worthless, whiny-baby, politically correct pansies tell us what we can and can't do now. I get the whole ABUSE concern; and that's NOT what I'm talking about. I'm talking about allowing children (and those not smarter than) to run how we, as grown, God-fearing adults will be governed.
When I win the lottery, I'm buying an island. And the invitation list ain't very long.
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Friday, June 15, 2012
...About Talent
I have never cared much for American Idol. It is a bit too ridiculous for my taste. I'm not into the "hollering'" singing that seems to be the preferred type of talent on that show. I'm far more impressed by controlled, effective singing.
Some older folks will remember the movie "My Fair Lady." Rex Harrison, the boorish guy performing the transformation, is one of the great actors of all time. He couldn't sing a note -- couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. How could he star in a musical? He was so good at acting, he was able to train to "yell at certain pitches at a specific time." Now that impresses me. That American Idol hollerin' singin' doesn't do it for me. But.... I digress!
I do like the show The Voice. It is a good show. I like the concept that the people are judged sight-unseen first and foremost. That's pretty cool.
What does impress me is the amount of varied talent on America's Got Talent. I am all about that show. I will say that I'm glad Piers Morgan is gone and I'm liking Howard Stern as a judge (hate him any other time). The show is absolutely great! If not for this show, so many, many, many talented people would never have a shot at being seen.
The other night, one act was 10 bicycle daredevils racing across the stage, ramping, spinning, whirling, and flipping at the same time! Wow! Age range - 20-44 years old. A 16 year old girl doing an acrobatic dance; a middle-aged nursing home worker who sings opera for his residents; a young, misunderstood, confused Goth guy who sings like a canary - all falsetto! These people have talent. And there are tons of them.
Remember Landau Eugene Murphy, Jr from last year? 40-something years old, scraping by working at a car wash - comes out and sings Frank Sinatra tunes like.... like.... like Frank Sinatra! He was outstanding. (Even I phoned in and voted for him!)
Some of them are, as you'd expect, pitiful. I suppose when there are several thousand wanting a chance at every venue they visit, a couple hundred of them will be less-than-stellar. It is also unfortunate that there are probably many more who are great that we never get to see.
But what a great show. No ridiculously over-stupid drama. No foolish sit-com. A little bit of cheese once in a while, but for the most part - talent.
It is very warming to my heart to feel that this country, trying as hard as it can to fall apart, still has talent. Good, real, generally humble, God-given talent.
I just have to believe that if we had more shows like this - ones that showcase the good things over the bad - this world might be a little bit better place. It won't solve all the problems, but it just might make us all feel a little better, and I think that's a good place to start.
Keep it going, America's Got Talent!!!!
.
Some older folks will remember the movie "My Fair Lady." Rex Harrison, the boorish guy performing the transformation, is one of the great actors of all time. He couldn't sing a note -- couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. How could he star in a musical? He was so good at acting, he was able to train to "yell at certain pitches at a specific time." Now that impresses me. That American Idol hollerin' singin' doesn't do it for me. But.... I digress!
I do like the show The Voice. It is a good show. I like the concept that the people are judged sight-unseen first and foremost. That's pretty cool.
What does impress me is the amount of varied talent on America's Got Talent. I am all about that show. I will say that I'm glad Piers Morgan is gone and I'm liking Howard Stern as a judge (hate him any other time). The show is absolutely great! If not for this show, so many, many, many talented people would never have a shot at being seen.
The other night, one act was 10 bicycle daredevils racing across the stage, ramping, spinning, whirling, and flipping at the same time! Wow! Age range - 20-44 years old. A 16 year old girl doing an acrobatic dance; a middle-aged nursing home worker who sings opera for his residents; a young, misunderstood, confused Goth guy who sings like a canary - all falsetto! These people have talent. And there are tons of them.
Remember Landau Eugene Murphy, Jr from last year? 40-something years old, scraping by working at a car wash - comes out and sings Frank Sinatra tunes like.... like.... like Frank Sinatra! He was outstanding. (Even I phoned in and voted for him!)
Some of them are, as you'd expect, pitiful. I suppose when there are several thousand wanting a chance at every venue they visit, a couple hundred of them will be less-than-stellar. It is also unfortunate that there are probably many more who are great that we never get to see.
But what a great show. No ridiculously over-stupid drama. No foolish sit-com. A little bit of cheese once in a while, but for the most part - talent.
It is very warming to my heart to feel that this country, trying as hard as it can to fall apart, still has talent. Good, real, generally humble, God-given talent.
I just have to believe that if we had more shows like this - ones that showcase the good things over the bad - this world might be a little bit better place. It won't solve all the problems, but it just might make us all feel a little better, and I think that's a good place to start.
Keep it going, America's Got Talent!!!!
.
Saturday, June 2, 2012
...About Florida Drivers
Over my lifetime, I've gotten pretty used to people always making fun of the way people drive in Alabama. Truth be told, I've done more than my share of complaining about Alabama drivers, too. I remember once, many years ago, riding with my buddy Bill. We used to ride all over town. Hours of just riding.
Bill had a '71 Ford Pinto, bright yellow in color. We used to talk about painting the word Sunkist on the side of it. Instead, we just put a Cherry Bomb straight pipe and some racing stripes on it. We used to use that car like some kind of dune buggy! We'd be riding along some back road between Can and Can't and spot some small dirt trail off the side of the main street. Well of course we had to turn off and follow it. One such excursion took us across a small creek and up a dirt bike trail toward the top of some really steep hill. Now notice I said "toward" the top - not "to" the top. A high steep wall on the driver's side and a sheer drop off on the other made it very precarious. Naturally, my side was "the other." We got almost to the top of Mount Whatareyouthinking when the front right side of the car seemed to drop several feet and we ground to a halt. Bill says, "Uh oh... open your door and see how much room we have over there." After a breath, I opened the door and looked straight...... down. Down! I don't mean "kinda at some angle that was in a downward slope." I mean STRAIGHT, 90 degrees, oh-dear-Lord-what-were-we-thinking DOWN! The right front wheel had dropped over the side! All I could say was, "There ain't no room over here and if you come this way we will die." We ended up BACKING the car down the slope at about 3 inches per hour. I swear, sometimes I don't know how we lived this long. But...... I digress!
So Bill and I were riding in the Pinto and came to a point where one road joined another. It merged with the other, more heavily trafficked street. A lady in a car in front of us, like so many will, pulled up to the YIELD sign and came to a stop. And she stayed, and she stayed, and she stayed. Finally, Bill rolls down his window and screams, "C'MON LADY! IT SAYS 'YIELD' - NOT SURRENDER!!" I thought I would wet my pants.
So, yes, Alabama has some challenged drivers.
BUT! Never, in my life, have I EVER seen drivers as ridiculously stupid as those in Florida. As many of you know, my wife and I recently moved to the Navarre/Fort Walton Beach area. Every morning, I drive 19 or 20 miles to work with some of the most inconsiderate, unknowing, uncaring, self-centered Bozos I have ever seen! Traffic is very heavy - period. Many times, if you are sitting in a line that is constantly moving at no more than 14 MPH, you feel good. At least it's moving. If there is an accident, forget it. Add 20 - 30 minutes to your drive. But the most aggravating thing is when you are finally moving along at 45 MPH. Everyone is settled at the same speed. The flow is moving like a full river winding to the ocean. Then - IT happens. Some jerk wants to enter the traffic from a side street or business. They pull up to the street, and with no concern for anyone else, will jump into a 6 foot gap between two cars traveling at 45 MPH. Do you think for one split instant that THEY kick that mule to reach 45 and make life smooth? NO! They will poke along at about 25 while hundreds of people behind them are headed to the ditch or the median to avoid an accident. Any wave of thanks? Are you crazy? You OWE them the opportunity to jump in front of you. Geez, Louise!
And then there are those who are already in the flow, but are not satisfied with the pace of the flow. Everyone knows that it's gonna come to a stop. You can move along at a little pace, but in a minute, it's gonna slow back to the paint-drying crawl. It just happens. Everybody knows and accepts this. The jerk is the one who starts jumping in between every car around him to get ahead of "all these slow idiots." Then, for me, it becomes personal! You wanna take that lane because you think you're gonna get ahead of me? HA! I know for a fact that lane will come to a STOP in a second because of the Elementary School up there on the right! And then YOU will want to jump back over here with us patient folks to scoot by?? You won't get back in here! I will MAKE you live with that choice! Bwahahahaaaa!!
And then later, as we get to the next portion of the commute, "that guy" is in the rear-view mirror about 8 cars back. He never does catch up. And I take pleasure in that. I probably shouldn't. But I do. Are you that important, that you think you should not have to live in the traffic but I should? I think not! Besides, as a friend used to say, what's the big thrill of winning the poll position at the next traffic light?
But I have begun to believe there are more Alabama drivers here than I thought, because with all of my aggravation and "child-like" responses to these people who drive the way they do, I have noticed that many, many other drivers are retaliating against these inconsiderates by doing the same thing!
We shall teach you Floridians how to drive if it kills you!!
Rant over... for now.
.
Bill had a '71 Ford Pinto, bright yellow in color. We used to talk about painting the word Sunkist on the side of it. Instead, we just put a Cherry Bomb straight pipe and some racing stripes on it. We used to use that car like some kind of dune buggy! We'd be riding along some back road between Can and Can't and spot some small dirt trail off the side of the main street. Well of course we had to turn off and follow it. One such excursion took us across a small creek and up a dirt bike trail toward the top of some really steep hill. Now notice I said "toward" the top - not "to" the top. A high steep wall on the driver's side and a sheer drop off on the other made it very precarious. Naturally, my side was "the other." We got almost to the top of Mount Whatareyouthinking when the front right side of the car seemed to drop several feet and we ground to a halt. Bill says, "Uh oh... open your door and see how much room we have over there." After a breath, I opened the door and looked straight...... down. Down! I don't mean "kinda at some angle that was in a downward slope." I mean STRAIGHT, 90 degrees, oh-dear-Lord-what-were-we-thinking DOWN! The right front wheel had dropped over the side! All I could say was, "There ain't no room over here and if you come this way we will die." We ended up BACKING the car down the slope at about 3 inches per hour. I swear, sometimes I don't know how we lived this long. But...... I digress!
So Bill and I were riding in the Pinto and came to a point where one road joined another. It merged with the other, more heavily trafficked street. A lady in a car in front of us, like so many will, pulled up to the YIELD sign and came to a stop. And she stayed, and she stayed, and she stayed. Finally, Bill rolls down his window and screams, "C'MON LADY! IT SAYS 'YIELD' - NOT SURRENDER!!" I thought I would wet my pants.
So, yes, Alabama has some challenged drivers.
BUT! Never, in my life, have I EVER seen drivers as ridiculously stupid as those in Florida. As many of you know, my wife and I recently moved to the Navarre/Fort Walton Beach area. Every morning, I drive 19 or 20 miles to work with some of the most inconsiderate, unknowing, uncaring, self-centered Bozos I have ever seen! Traffic is very heavy - period. Many times, if you are sitting in a line that is constantly moving at no more than 14 MPH, you feel good. At least it's moving. If there is an accident, forget it. Add 20 - 30 minutes to your drive. But the most aggravating thing is when you are finally moving along at 45 MPH. Everyone is settled at the same speed. The flow is moving like a full river winding to the ocean. Then - IT happens. Some jerk wants to enter the traffic from a side street or business. They pull up to the street, and with no concern for anyone else, will jump into a 6 foot gap between two cars traveling at 45 MPH. Do you think for one split instant that THEY kick that mule to reach 45 and make life smooth? NO! They will poke along at about 25 while hundreds of people behind them are headed to the ditch or the median to avoid an accident. Any wave of thanks? Are you crazy? You OWE them the opportunity to jump in front of you. Geez, Louise!
And then there are those who are already in the flow, but are not satisfied with the pace of the flow. Everyone knows that it's gonna come to a stop. You can move along at a little pace, but in a minute, it's gonna slow back to the paint-drying crawl. It just happens. Everybody knows and accepts this. The jerk is the one who starts jumping in between every car around him to get ahead of "all these slow idiots." Then, for me, it becomes personal! You wanna take that lane because you think you're gonna get ahead of me? HA! I know for a fact that lane will come to a STOP in a second because of the Elementary School up there on the right! And then YOU will want to jump back over here with us patient folks to scoot by?? You won't get back in here! I will MAKE you live with that choice! Bwahahahaaaa!!
And then later, as we get to the next portion of the commute, "that guy" is in the rear-view mirror about 8 cars back. He never does catch up. And I take pleasure in that. I probably shouldn't. But I do. Are you that important, that you think you should not have to live in the traffic but I should? I think not! Besides, as a friend used to say, what's the big thrill of winning the poll position at the next traffic light?
But I have begun to believe there are more Alabama drivers here than I thought, because with all of my aggravation and "child-like" responses to these people who drive the way they do, I have noticed that many, many other drivers are retaliating against these inconsiderates by doing the same thing!
We shall teach you Floridians how to drive if it kills you!!
Rant over... for now.
.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
...About Social Media
I fancy myself a pretty hip guy. I wear clothes that are at least from the last 5 years or so. I can speak some of that lingo them young folks speak. I am past words like "groovy" and "right on, daddio." I can use words like "sweet!" and "word!" I am on Facebook. My daughter pulled one of those "Wow, you finally came out of the dinosaur world!" when I started. I have a Droid phone and even know how to text! I must admit, if you're anywhere near my age, there are so many things now that we find we can't live without - though we did for most of our lives. You've all seen the list, so I'll hit only a few highlights:
WE were the remote for the TV. Dad would say, "Get up and change that to channel 6."
The phone was a wired device that either hung on the kitchen wall, or was on the nightstand in Mom & Dad's bedroom.
A calculator was about as big as a small paperback novel and only did four functions.
Email - forget it. A stamp on a hand-written letter or postcard.
Spell check was Sister Johanna and a ruler!
You get my point. But, as always... I digress!
I have no idea what this world of ours has come to. We can't function without Social Media sites. As I say, even I am on Facebook. I asked my dad if he ever thought about getting on Facebook. He said, "What the hell's Facebook?" I told him, "You can keep up with what all your friends are doing." Being 80, my dad said, "If I wanna know what somebody's doing, I pick up the damn phone and call 'em." That would be the phone on the nightstand in his room.
But what kills me more than anything else about any of the sites is how people tell you every single cotton-pickin' move they make! I love my family and friends, so I won't name them here (you know who you are!), but this is a normal day:
Joe Smith (see how that's a fictitious name?) is at Place of Employment.
Joe Smith is at Applebee's having lunch.
Joe Smith is at Bob's Daycare - picking up little Joe.
Joe Smith is at The Grocery Store - picking up something for dinner.
Joe Smith is at home.
Joe Smith is watching NCIS.
Joe Smith is going to bed - "Goodnight FB friends!" (REALLY??)
On and on and on and on and on. I expect to see ones that say things like:
Joe Smith is in the bathroom.
Joe Smith is out of the bathroom.
Joe Smith just sprayed Lysol - love that Applebee's!
Aaarrrgghhh!
Another one I don't get are those who tell you every move on their vacation. After about their fifth post, when they tell me they and the fam are finally in Nebraska "looking forward to 6 days of relaxation", I want to write a note that says, "I am on my way to break into your house - thanks for the heads up!!"
And then there are the abbreviations. Holy Crap! Something ELSE I have to learn! It was OK at first. LOL and ROTFLMAO I was able to grasp. Then they added OMG! and SMH. Now I got OMG pretty quickly, but I gotta tell you, it took me a while to get SMH. (I'm gonna help some of you oldies -- SMH is Shaking My Head. Ssshhh! Act like you've known all along.) And there are many others. And for the life of me, I don't get the use of (#) before a statement. "#I'llnevergetthere." WHAT??
I still contend that with all this technology, there are too many problems still remaining. For example, why in the world can't I ever have a cell phone conversation with my wife without the dang signal dropping??!! "I went---- Debbie's and she---- that her---- open---- ibk---- opor---------------" *beep* Dropped call.
Maybe I'm not as hip as I thought I was. Maybe I'm just not hip enough to get it. We can send a man to the moon in a rocket. He can drive around on the moon in a car. He could probably post a Tweet on the moon. He can even play golf on the moon, and get back in the rocket and come back to Earth - but I can't talk to my wife on the damn cell phone in the same city!!
SMH
.
WE were the remote for the TV. Dad would say, "Get up and change that to channel 6."
The phone was a wired device that either hung on the kitchen wall, or was on the nightstand in Mom & Dad's bedroom.
A calculator was about as big as a small paperback novel and only did four functions.
Email - forget it. A stamp on a hand-written letter or postcard.
Spell check was Sister Johanna and a ruler!
You get my point. But, as always... I digress!
I have no idea what this world of ours has come to. We can't function without Social Media sites. As I say, even I am on Facebook. I asked my dad if he ever thought about getting on Facebook. He said, "What the hell's Facebook?" I told him, "You can keep up with what all your friends are doing." Being 80, my dad said, "If I wanna know what somebody's doing, I pick up the damn phone and call 'em." That would be the phone on the nightstand in his room.
But what kills me more than anything else about any of the sites is how people tell you every single cotton-pickin' move they make! I love my family and friends, so I won't name them here (you know who you are!), but this is a normal day:
Joe Smith (see how that's a fictitious name?) is at Place of Employment.
Joe Smith is at Applebee's having lunch.
Joe Smith is at Bob's Daycare - picking up little Joe.
Joe Smith is at The Grocery Store - picking up something for dinner.
Joe Smith is at home.
Joe Smith is watching NCIS.
Joe Smith is going to bed - "Goodnight FB friends!" (REALLY??)
On and on and on and on and on. I expect to see ones that say things like:
Joe Smith is in the bathroom.
Joe Smith is out of the bathroom.
Joe Smith just sprayed Lysol - love that Applebee's!
Aaarrrgghhh!
Another one I don't get are those who tell you every move on their vacation. After about their fifth post, when they tell me they and the fam are finally in Nebraska "looking forward to 6 days of relaxation", I want to write a note that says, "I am on my way to break into your house - thanks for the heads up!!"
And then there are the abbreviations. Holy Crap! Something ELSE I have to learn! It was OK at first. LOL and ROTFLMAO I was able to grasp. Then they added OMG! and SMH. Now I got OMG pretty quickly, but I gotta tell you, it took me a while to get SMH. (I'm gonna help some of you oldies -- SMH is Shaking My Head. Ssshhh! Act like you've known all along.) And there are many others. And for the life of me, I don't get the use of (#) before a statement. "#I'llnevergetthere." WHAT??
I still contend that with all this technology, there are too many problems still remaining. For example, why in the world can't I ever have a cell phone conversation with my wife without the dang signal dropping??!! "I went---- Debbie's and she---- that her---- open---- ibk---- opor---------------" *beep* Dropped call.
Maybe I'm not as hip as I thought I was. Maybe I'm just not hip enough to get it. We can send a man to the moon in a rocket. He can drive around on the moon in a car. He could probably post a Tweet on the moon. He can even play golf on the moon, and get back in the rocket and come back to Earth - but I can't talk to my wife on the damn cell phone in the same city!!
SMH
.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
...About the Preacher and the Flood
In the small town of Elizabethtown, called "Etown," in upstate New York, there was a transplanted preacher. When I say he was transplanted, I mean that he was originally from the South. He was one of those "Hell & Damnation, Fire & Brimstone" kinda country preachers.
Now if you've never witnessed one of these types of preachers, it is an eye-opening, seat-riveting, "cheek-clinching" experience - something one might call a "knitting needle of a moment." I'm neither knocking nor endorsing one religion over another, I'm just sayin'. You generally find one of these preachers in a place like The Antioch Freewill Southern Baptist Church of Smuteye, Alabama. It is a sermon filled with Bible-thumping, Bible-waving, Bible-banging, and a red-in-the-face, short-of-breath, no-pauses-in-his-delivery chastising for the sins of the church members. It might go a little like this:
"...And we must leeaarrnnn, uh-huh, that the way of the Loooord, uh huh, is the pathwayyyy, uh huh, that we must folloooowww, uh huh, to get into those Heavenly gaaaaaates, uh huh, to see the face of the Looooooord, uh huh, and that He will not entertaaaiiiin, uh huh, a meeting with thoooooose, uh huh, who have the committed the siiiiiin, uh huh, of the liquor..."
And, of course, every statement is loudly approved by "A-meyen!" But... I digress!
So this preacher had been transplanted to Etown, some rumored because of a transgression that had been brought out into the light making it time to "hear God's calling and move up yonder to save those devil-filled souls up North."
After one of those particularly normal winters with 3-4 feet of snow, the Spring thaw brought the expected flooding. And so this preacher found himself witnessing quite a rising of the waters. As the waters rose, the preacher was on his front porch. The steps were covered with moving water lapping at the porch. A local man waded by in his chest waders pulling a john boat with a rope. The man sees the preacher on his porch and comes over and says, "C'mon, Preacher, climb in and I'll get you to high ground."
The arrogant preacher tells the man, "I don't need you! The Lord will take care of me!"
And so the man walked along his way.
A bit later, the preacher is on his roof, the water now moving faster and lapping at the eaves. Another man in a motor boat comes to the preacher and says, "Climb in, Preacher! We've got to get you outta here!"
To which the preacher again replies, "You can go, I don't need you! The Lord will take care of me!"
And the man motors away.
Some time passes, and the preacher is perched on the top of his chimney, water rushing around his ankles. A helicopter hovers overhead, drops a rope ladder and the speaker blares, "Grab the ladder, Preacher! We'll save you!"
The unflappable preacher shakes his fist and yells, "Be on your way! The Lord will take care of me!"
And the helicopter moves off in the wind.
In a little while, the preacher is at the Pearly Gates with St. Peter demanding to speak with the Lord. In a flash of light, the Lord is standing in front of the preacher. "What is it, my son?"
The preacher says, "Lord, I had faith in you that the waters were not to hurt me. I have been a good servant, and saved the souls of the people in Etown, but you let me be swallowed up by the floods. Why, Lord?"
The Lord looks at the preacher and says, "I sent you two boats and a helicopter - what else did you want?!"
At least, that's how they tell the story.
.
Now if you've never witnessed one of these types of preachers, it is an eye-opening, seat-riveting, "cheek-clinching" experience - something one might call a "knitting needle of a moment." I'm neither knocking nor endorsing one religion over another, I'm just sayin'. You generally find one of these preachers in a place like The Antioch Freewill Southern Baptist Church of Smuteye, Alabama. It is a sermon filled with Bible-thumping, Bible-waving, Bible-banging, and a red-in-the-face, short-of-breath, no-pauses-in-his-delivery chastising for the sins of the church members. It might go a little like this:
"...And we must leeaarrnnn, uh-huh, that the way of the Loooord, uh huh, is the pathwayyyy, uh huh, that we must folloooowww, uh huh, to get into those Heavenly gaaaaaates, uh huh, to see the face of the Looooooord, uh huh, and that He will not entertaaaiiiin, uh huh, a meeting with thoooooose, uh huh, who have the committed the siiiiiin, uh huh, of the liquor..."
And, of course, every statement is loudly approved by "A-meyen!" But... I digress!
So this preacher had been transplanted to Etown, some rumored because of a transgression that had been brought out into the light making it time to "hear God's calling and move up yonder to save those devil-filled souls up North."
After one of those particularly normal winters with 3-4 feet of snow, the Spring thaw brought the expected flooding. And so this preacher found himself witnessing quite a rising of the waters. As the waters rose, the preacher was on his front porch. The steps were covered with moving water lapping at the porch. A local man waded by in his chest waders pulling a john boat with a rope. The man sees the preacher on his porch and comes over and says, "C'mon, Preacher, climb in and I'll get you to high ground."
The arrogant preacher tells the man, "I don't need you! The Lord will take care of me!"
And so the man walked along his way.
A bit later, the preacher is on his roof, the water now moving faster and lapping at the eaves. Another man in a motor boat comes to the preacher and says, "Climb in, Preacher! We've got to get you outta here!"
To which the preacher again replies, "You can go, I don't need you! The Lord will take care of me!"
And the man motors away.
Some time passes, and the preacher is perched on the top of his chimney, water rushing around his ankles. A helicopter hovers overhead, drops a rope ladder and the speaker blares, "Grab the ladder, Preacher! We'll save you!"
The unflappable preacher shakes his fist and yells, "Be on your way! The Lord will take care of me!"
And the helicopter moves off in the wind.
In a little while, the preacher is at the Pearly Gates with St. Peter demanding to speak with the Lord. In a flash of light, the Lord is standing in front of the preacher. "What is it, my son?"
The preacher says, "Lord, I had faith in you that the waters were not to hurt me. I have been a good servant, and saved the souls of the people in Etown, but you let me be swallowed up by the floods. Why, Lord?"
The Lord looks at the preacher and says, "I sent you two boats and a helicopter - what else did you want?!"
At least, that's how they tell the story.
.
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