...I'd ask, "Where's the Rake??"

OK. I did the first "Welcome In" blog. I suppose now I should actually say something.

Our house is for sale, and being aware of things like "curb appeal" and the like (HGTV will change the world), I figured I'd better clean up the leaves in the yard. It really needs to look good, you know? So I went out, got on my Craftsman lawn tractor with the mulching blades and the double-bagger (unlike the normal usage of the term "two-bagger"), and was prepared to make short work of those damn leaves. Turned the key... click. Dammit. Not whirrrr, click. Just click. Gotta be the battery. Hooked up the battery charger for several hours. Click. Dammit. Must be the starter. "Alright. I'm in the mood... where's the rake?"
WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING???!!!
If you are anywhere near my age (54), you have probably had the opportunity to enjoy the finer things in life: a lawn tractor, beer in a twist-off bottle, maybe a pool, good friends who also like beer in a twist-off bottle, etc. etc.  We forget things like using a bottle opener or a leaf rake. There are things we should never do when we reach the age of better logic. A leaf rake is a great thing, but it will take its toll on old bones. 
But I digress. [And just what the hell does "digress" mean, anyway?  People use that term all the time. They have no clue what it means. I do. I looked it up. Intransitive verb: to turn aside especially from the main subject of attention or course of argument.  So... as I will do from time to time... I digress.]
Many years ago, my father would come home from work, and, in the summer when it stays light longer, he would go out after dinner (supper) and take the water hose... and water. You know what I mean. Thumb-over-the-end-making-a-spray kinda watering. And he stood, and he stood, and he stood. I never understood it until many years later. I was sitting on the porch one evening, having had yet another less-than-enjoyable conversation with my 1st wife, and I picked up the hose and started watering the grass. After several minutes - voila! I had begun to calm into figuring out the problems of the world. Wanna experience that in the fall and winter? Pick up the rake. (And you just THOUGHT I wouldn't get back on topic!)
Raking the front yard took me most of the day Saturday and part of Sunday. I solved tons o' problems. I even decided to write this blog thing - which I may still not write. It was therapeutic. It was tiring, but a good kinda tiring. The yard looks good (it would look great if the damn wind wasn't blowing), the grass is aerated, and I have the satisfying feeling of having accomplished something significant. As I said, old muscles aren't very happy right now, but I feel manly. There is a HUGE pile of leaves running most of the length of my front curb, and I feel mighty. So my thought to you is this: Wanna feel manly (or womanly)? Wanna sense of great accomplishment? Wanna just think through life's issues and come up with the answers? Grab the rake and hit the yard! It's a sure-fire way to let your mind clear.

Now... Wanna know what really sucks? I have ZERO trees in my yard. Not one damn tree. I have 14.7 tons of leaves and achy arms and back muscles, AND NOT ONE TREE! I should just push them back into my neighbor's yard. But of course, the wind is blowing back this way!

Maybe I'll do the back yard next weekend...... maybe not. Time for a twist-off.

...and I'm Not, But if I Were....

...what the hell would I write about? I don't generally read people's blogs. My brother (one year older) started blogging. I decided one day to see what he writes about. "I'll give it a momentary look..." Over an hour later, I thought, "That's pretty cool."
He writes about this and that. He writes some things that are quite poignant, some things that bring back memories from our youth, some things that I find a bit unnecessary -- just stuff. And I liked it. He has always had the ability to write, and I liked it.
I have also read the blogging of a girl (lady, woman, female - what the hell) whom I know. She is 20few and has a very different outlook on life. Some to my liking; some not so much, I read her, and I like it.
So I figure, "Why not?"  If I write something that makes sense... cool. If I write something that pisses someone off... cool. If I write, and no one ever reads it... that's cool, too. (I'm pretty sure my wife will read it - that "blind love" kinda thing.)
I suppose I'll put the disclaimer paragraph here -- Mom & Dad... If you read these ramblings (that blog name was taken, hence why I chose Brain Farts), please do not be offended by what I write. Though I don't plan to say things that will be offensive or upsetting, I can make no guarantees. Know that I love you and will TRY to be tempered in my stuff (Yeah, OK). To my friends and acquaintances, same thing. Read it, like it. hate it, bite me!
This will be the chance for me to say what I want. Maybe, just maybe, someone will like what they read and will tune in again next time. You'll hear a lot of old phrases and sayings in my ramblings. You know why? Because I can.
I hope it will be a fun ride. We'll see.  I CAN tell you that if you will go with me, you just might laugh, you just might enjoy a tear, and you'll certainly hear me bitch from time to time!

Now... how do you close one of these things??