I told you before that my dad was a self-made man. I may not get all of these in order or exactly correctly said, but, he got a job with a travel company (Brownell Tours), then became a salesman for Xerox. He traveled a pretty fair amount and became (as I remember) quite successful and respected. Unknown to me, he was taking night classes at University of Alabama in Birmingham and graduated with a degree in accounting. He took a job as a staff accountant working in a basement office at UAB - one of those wide-open offices of many people at open desks. More night classes and earning another degree led to many years with UAB. He retired from UAB as the Comptroller for the UAB School of Dentistry. While all of the above occurred, he served as a strong leader in the church and as Representative/ then Assistant/ then Head Scoutmaster for the church Boy Scout troop. After retiring, he volunteered for SCORE - Senior Core Of Retired Executives. He touched many lives. Something we knew little about until his death.
My mother worked back and forth between the telephone company and having baby boys. I mostly remember her being at home trying to wrangle three little ones. She was an excellent seamstress and made a lot of the clothes we three wore. Usually what was made was "times 3" - especially regarding PJs and slippers. PJs were sewn by her; slippers were knitted by her. There were often questions from acquaintances of whether or not we were triplets or, at least twins! Several years later, my sister was born. The joke was the TV must have been on the fritz! My mom cooked wonderfully. She kept an immaculate house. She was active in church organizations - especially in the choir often singing solos. Every Christmas, during Midnight Mass, she would sing 'O, Holy Night' solo. To this day, a beautiful rendition of it brings me to tears.
If there were arguments between them I didn't know it. There were tough times when the budget was tight, but we never felt we did without. One Christmas we boys each received a backpack, a web belt, and an Army helmet liner from the Surplus Store (unknown to us), and a wooden rifle that had a gold wood bullet in it when the bolt was racked. And the trigger would 'click' when pulled. That's it. We were happy. We didn't understand why we couldn't have the newest toys the other kids had, but we were happy enough.
Raising us 4 kids wasn't easy. It was hard as hell. I was always in some kind of mischief. We were all a pain. Those stories are for another time.
My parents did the best they could. If you haven't noticed by now, their names were Dick and Jane. Yes. They/we heard all the joking questions about them being the stars of the Dick & Jane Learning-to-Read Series of books. Years later, my dad actually gave my mom the entire collection of Dick & Jane books as a Christmas gift!
They loved to travel, which they did very often. They loved square dancing and were members of several clubs and travelled to conventions every year for many years. At 50 years of marriage, they renewed their vows in a huge family event. By 60 years together, age and illness had begun. My mom suffered severe rheumatoid arthritis. My dad was being overtaken by pulmonary fibrosis. She became his total caregiver. She never complained as her ability to have a life of her own was overtaken. At 62 years of marriage, and age 85, my father passed away in his bed at home.
For the first time in her entire life my mother was alone. She was living with her mom and dad when they met. She married and moved in with her new husband. Until he passed away, she had never been alone.
She began to breathe again. After two years of intense, all-consuming caregiving, she began to go to church again. To see her friends again. But she was 88 years old and frail. At one point she fell and had to be rushed to the hospital. It would be the last time she lived in her home. It was recognized that she could not live alone again. After her hospital stay, she went to rehab, moved right into assisted care, and soon was frail enough that she was moved to hospice care. Two years after dad died, my mother passed away. I am truly convinced that she died from a lonely heart. My father, the only man she ever loved, was gone. At age 90, she would now go to be with him in Heaven. My father died May 5th, 2016. My mother died March 6th, 2018.
I think of them every single day. I miss them. I am crying as I finish this. It wasn't always perfect growing up, but it was later on. I look forward to the day when I see them again.
Rest easy, Dick & Jane! We all miss you and love you.
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