If you are under the age of 35, you might have a clue about what I'm gonna talk about. Now understand, I don't mean this as a slam, but you young 'uns ain't got an inkling about this topic unless you were very lucky or raised on a farm. My older brother has three boys, and I imagine they have cut grass, but not like this...
The way you made money as a young guy before your first "real" job, was cutting grass. Not your daddy's grass - you did that because you lived under his roof and he told you to. I'm talking about taking your push mower and a gas can and going door to door begging for work. A 12 year old boy was a landscaping business. There were no Dodge Rams pulling a 14' trailer loaded with ZTR tractors, weed eaters, and blowers. It was a kid who wanted to make $5 per yard, $8 if you were really lucky. In our neighborhoods, there were hills and, in those days, the yards were big. Pulling that mower and carrying that 2 or 3 gallon can of gas up hills and down and then cutting a half- or 3/4 acre yard was hot, hard work. Don't expect to get a bottle of water; there was no such thing. If you were polite, the lady of the house might bring out a glass of ice water. Usually, you just drank out of the hose.
Some of the "higher class" guys had a mower with a side bagger. They would get the jobs you couldn't get without a bagger. The difference was they had to pile the clippings by the street neatly. The advent of plastic trash bags changed that. It took longer to do a yard, but that was the yard you could get $10 for. Those guys sure were lucky.
It wasn't until I was 47 years old before I had a riding mower... 'scuze me... a "lawn tractor." Man! What had I been missing!!? I always enjoyed a push mower as an adult. Exercise is truly a good thing. 'Course mostly because I lived on level lots.
All my years of cutting grass, we lived in a house that was on a hill. The front yard was sweeping all the way around three sides of the house. A pretty good hill, too. The best way (ONLY way) to cut it was to go back and forth, not up and down (if you're a guy you understand). To avoid ruining the mower by having oil run down through the carburetor, you had to keep the oil side of the mower on the low side of the hill. I remember vividly my father yelling at us boys from the porch, "Keep that muffler on the high side!" I think of that to this day when I cut grass. But...... I digress!
I married into my first lawn tractor, and I was in Heaven! It had a cup holder! How about that?! A cup holder! It was a double-bagger. [I will leave the college-girl-I-dated joke alone.] It is fabulous. My wife and I "fight" over who gets to cut the grass. The only real part of it that's work is emptying the bag. Cool!
Now comes the stupid part, and what prompted this blog. Our neighbor, Tom-with-the -Better-Homes-and-Gardens yard was (where else?) in his yard the other day. He was talking with his next door neighbor, that-woman-with-several-college-kids. One of said kids was cutting the grass. Tom asked mom about the chugging and sputtering their mower was doing. She said, "I don't know. It's been doing that for a good while." Knowing everything, Tom said he'd look at it. He goes next door, starts looking it over, and notices the double bags on the mower are full. I mean really full. Here it comes:
Tom: This grass is hard and rotted. When did you last empty these bags?
College kid: What?? Are you supposed to empty them??
I was totally floored. How could ANY guy not know that??!! OMG! SMH! WTF!
BUT THAT'S NOT ALL!!! Then Tom gets a call from another guy, asking for help. He goes over, and this GROWN ADULT MAN has the same exact issue! Never, ever has emptied the grass bags!
I'm not necessarily the smartest guy in the Northern Hemisphere, but even I would have to ask where that grass went and "why are these bags on here?".
I will never understand stupid people.
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